American Gothic

Think you’re too broke for fine art? Now you can wear masterpieces without the burden of taste or museum admission fees. Our latest line features centuries of artistic genius bastardized into screen-printed disasters.

We’ve ransacked the public domain to bring you shirts featuring classical paintings so poorly reproduced they’d make art history professors physically ill. Renaissance masterpieces cropped at weird angles, Impressionist works with colors so off they create new artistic movements, and Surrealist pieces made even more confusing through our quality-optional printing process.

Perfect for intimidating gallery owners or confusing actual artists at craft fairs. Nothing says "I’m intellectually superior" like wearing a partially obscured Botticelli under a denim jacket stained with last night’s ramen.

Each design comes with built-in conversation starters like "Actually, that’s not what the artist intended" and "I preferred their earlier work." No actual knowledge of art history required—the more confidently wrong you sound, the more authentic the experience.

FEATURES:

✔ 100% cotton (we think)
✔ Machine washable (results may vary)
✔ Designs guaranteed to be outdated approximately 37 minutes after purchase
✔ Conversation starter with strangers who "get it"
✔ Conversation ender with anyone over 40

BONUS FEATURE:

Wearing these shirts automatically grants you permission to stand uncomfortably close to actual artwork in museums while loudly explaining its "deeper meaning" to disinterested strangers.

Size guide